Getting out from under the blankets

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My birthday is on July 27. My goal is simple: To feel better on that day then than I do right now. I have been in a funk for almost three weeks and I finally think I am coming through it. The funk can largely be attributed, I believe, to the pharmaceuticals I am taking to fight sarcoidosis. I take prednisone and mexthotrexate to control and reduce the scarring of my lungs and heart and to reduce the size of the lymph nodes in my lungs so more oxygen gets to my lungs and, ultimately, my heart. I am also on lisinopril and hydralazine, counteracting prednisone's affect on my blood pressure. Prednisone, besides making me moody and irritable has made my blood pressure soar. I have hypertension anyway and I was taking carvedilol to control it. Ten to 25 milligrams of carvedilol, a little exercise, watch the diet and things were fine. Not anymore. It now takes 100 milligrams of carvedilol, 40 milligrams of lisnopril and 50 milligrams of hydralazine to keep it in check. BARELY in check. And the drugs make my tired. It's tough to do routine things. Tough to just go for a walk. So I spiraled into a funk, doing the most elemental things possible, gotta eat, gotta shower, gotta take care of business. And then I would retire to bed, pulling the blankets over my head. And sarcoidosis is a double-bitch because besides taking the body, doctors say it also plays with your emotions. I actually cried after watching 50 First Dates, an Adam Sander comedy! Someone please shoot me! I try to keep my spirits up because I have these mini-goals for the next six weeks. Sometimes I do feel much better than how I felt back in March when I was hospitalized because I was gasping for breath and coughing up blood. Those days seem like a distant memory. I'm able to shower and clean my apartment without huffing and puffing like I'm playing one-on-one against Kobe Bryant. Friends in Chicago help me keep up my spirits - I thank them and I hope I do the same for them - and my family back East is carefully monitoring my progress from afar. I owe them another business. So, striding to achieve goals - improved health, oh!...finishing the first draft of my first novel! - I am getting out from under the blanket. I'll start with a walk. Who knows? Maybe I'll develop my lung capacity enough to one day chase behind Kobe as he blows past me and dunks. I'd be cool with that. What do you do to overcome the blues?

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