Fifteen quality years and shooting for more

Friday and Saturday were good days. Friday, I took a mile-long walk, pushed myself by walking quickly and deliberately. I was breathing normally while walking and quickly recovered at the end. Best breathing day since being diagnosed with sacrcodosis. That was a great feeling for me since I haven’t had a day like that in quite a while – a year, perhaps – AND Friday was very humid. I always thought I was gonna have a hard time in humid weather, but things are not as bad as I thought it would be. Saturday was great, too. Hung out with friends, played Bean Toss. A slyly addictive game. Walking and playing outside. And I was able to breathe OK - there's room for improvement. I'll get there- and all without my heart collapsing. This takes me back to that electro-cardiologist “15 years” comment: “Let’s say you have 15 years…” To live. Those words still gnaw at the base of my skull. No matter what I am doing, I am aware that sarcoidosis can (will?) ultimately kill me and it has cut my life expectancy. I could make it only to 58, according to the doctor. Could….could… I could live a long, rich life, one that allows me to accomplish and contribute into my 80s or 90s. I get to accomplish some important life goals, becoming a successful creative writer and filmmaker, establishing family, marinating a healthy balanced living that benefits mind, body, soul and earth. Leaving something behind to benefit humanity. I could just hit the wall in 15 years or before. Vital organ functions stabilize for a while, but only with medication. Soon, the body just becomes tired. I go…at 58, possibly before. I could just get hit by a car while trying to cross Ashland Avenue to go to the Jewel-Osco supermarket. All I can do is live my life. Get healthy, maintain healthy habits and let fate, luck and God take care of everything else. One should just live life as fully as one can knowing that not one moment is promised to us.