No news is good news

No news is good news.

I am awaiting the results of an echocardiogram to measure the ejection fraction of the left ventricle of my heart. I am being treated for pulmonary and cardiac sarcoidosis and it is my hope that medication, exercise and life changes have improved the strength of the left ventricle, which pumps oxygen-rich blood into the body.

I have been anxious about the test, but I have tried not to show it. I, like tens of thousands of people dealing with an autoimmune disease, just want to see some sort of improvement. And I really want to get off prednisone, which is controlling the disease but causing side effects, including type 2 diabetes, mood swings and weight gain. Yes, I am an edgy fat man with a sweet tooth…But I digress…

The test Thursday morning was easy enough. Took off the shirt, laid back, let a technician run a goo-covered wand across my chest to “read” heart activity. The ejection fraction is demonstrated in a percentage. A normal "EF" is between 50 and 70 percent. Mine was in the mid-30s in March, the last time it was checked. I want my heart to improve so I stop taking prednisone and methotrexate, which "treat" sarcoidosis by suppressing the overactive immune system. I don't want to go into the winter months with a suppressed immune system. I caught a could that knocked me on my butt for two weeks. I don't want to go through that again or worse. I get nervous any time I sneeze or get the sniffles.

I want my heart to improve because I don't want a defibrillator installed in my chest.

The technician who conducted the test Thursday was cool. Very professional and put my mind at ease even though she could not read me the results. My cardiologist will do that. “Well, I guess I won’t freak out. It’s not like you stopped the test to get the doctor,” I said after we were all done.

“That’s only happened twice in the 10 years I’ve been doing this and I don’t have to do that today,” she said.

Good. Later Thursday, I did not call my cardiologist for the results. I wanted - needed – a day free of worrying about sarc and what it is doing to me. So, I exercised, did some writing and am preparing myself to make the call. Regardless of what the doctor says, I know I am still in the midst of a lengthy process to get well. Some days will be better than others, but I keep moving toward the goal. Watch. I bet he will be off today. Then it is 72 hours of waiting.

Oh, well. Life goes on. It finds a way. I take solace in that fact.

Have a nice weekend.